“I’ll tell you what it is about this place… It sentences you to freedom… You are constantly reminded of what it means to be free and to be alive. And then it becomes difficult to settle for anything
less then this.” – Francesca Marciano
It never ceases to amaze me how much uncontrollable love and guidance I feel whenever I re-enter into San Francisco after being a way for a few weeks, a few months, a few years.
After coming and going regularly over the past few years I would have thought that that spark that I feel as I walk of the plane into SFO after being away would have dyed down to something less intense. That that eyes-wide-open vision I get as I travel across the Golden Gate Bridge would have gone away after 3 years of coming and going. But no, every time I enter this city, by foot, by 4 wheels, through the air or on my magic carpet in my head, I have this intense overwhelming warmth surround my body. I have this stupid grin on my face that no one can wipe off. My feet are firmly on the ground yet I run around like a mad man from excitement.
It is, quite plainly, the best feeling in the universe.
I returned to San Francisco from Mexico about a week ago. After 5 crazy weeks of cutting coconuts with machetes, learning ridiculous Spanish phrases that I will never need to know, and getting my hands dirty in the South Wests rich soil, I craved California. But not even that… I craved San Francisco.
I was having a hard time the last couple of weeks in Mexico, my head was in the clouds (as it always is but this time spiritually disconnected from myself), and I was frustrated as I kept getting silly infections. The worst was the second last week I was in Juluchuca and the mosquito bites on my feet got infected from the dirty water entering them from walking through a river near the house I was staying at.
I was almost punishing myself, I kept telling myself that “I was in Mexico, just enjoy it”. And as much as that statement was true, something should be said for your emotions. You are always going to feel what your body wants you to feel, whether it be sad, happy, angry, crazy, unpredictable, etc… I was not listening to my body, I was just punishing it.
One afternoon when I had finished working at the farm, I pulled out my journal and started reading from it.
These are some of the pages I came across:
“People think I am crazy, some even irresponsible. But how irresponsible would I be if i lived life but wasn’t really living. THAT would be irresponsible…
So here I am again, San Francisco in the distance, my eyes finally waking up after a corporate sleep, opening up to the great unknown. I promised myself I would be back, I would collect my heart from the city that stole it so gracefully in a way I cannot explain.
San Francisco i’ve been missing you, and I’m pretty sure you have been missing me.”
“This city is so full of life and vibrancy. I sit here, on Hippie Hill in Golden Gate Park as a bunch of at least 25 people, both homeless, street kids, travelers and locals, surround each other in an all for one welcoming circle. They are playing music with improvised instruments and it is wonderful.
People are laughing, dancing, singing. They are happy in all their imperfections.
It is a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, and these people are as bright as the sun, as moving as the wind and as exquisite as the music they are making.
Simplicity. It creates such an awareness of happiness.
I can think of no better way to spend this afternoon, no better way to awakening my happiness right now.
This city makes me shine, not just me though, everyone, everyone shines here.
Everyone thrives to their potential. Anything goes. No dream to wild or path to dangerous to cross. Not here.
Here, anything is possible.”
After careful consideration, and multiple complications due to my large scale of indecisiveness, I decided it was time to go burn some of that hard earned energy I had bursting through my seams, in the city I will never stop desiring.
I booked a flight, and after leaving my travel partner, Forrest, and completing 5 fun filled days with new friends in Mexico City, I flew back home to San Francisco.
I love how I just automatically typed “home”.
Stumbled across some beautiful advocates for Veganism and anti-consumerism
Since being back my adventures have been rich and the people I have encountered have been spontaneously serendipitous.
I have approximately 9 days left in this city until my next destination, and I plan to keep this serendipitous rampage up!
I’m so happy, I’m so glad, every little cell in my body is well, every little cell in my body is happy, every little cell in my body is well!