“You must always have faith in people, but most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.”-Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Yes, I did just quote Legally Blonde, and yes, I do think that Legally Blonde is an excellent movie. Disregarding whether or not you enjoy Reese Witherspoon wearing tight hot pink clothes playing another leading role in a Rom-Com or not, you have to admit, that the quote Elle Woods states in her University speech at the end of the movie, is just down right spot on.
When I was a little girl, I use to dress up as Pocahontas or Ariel on a daily basis, they were my go-to role models. I would put on my Pocahontas dress, get my mother to set up my Pocahontas play tent and run around singing “Colors of the Wind” until my little legs got tired and I would crash on the floor in exhaustion.
Other times I would sit in my bathtub pretending I had fins and singing into a hand-held mirror like how Ariel does in “The Little Mermaid” when she hands her voice over to Ursula in exchange for the freedom to walk on land. (Hmm, that seems like a little bit of a metaphoric satire if you ask me).
I grew up rich in love and a middle class family that was (and of course, still is) devoted to fulfilling me with abundance in every way they could.
As I got a little older, my expectations of life as a mermaid or a warrior princess slowly started to deteriorate, but I still managed to view my life in a way that left a romantic notion surrounding it. From time and time again over the years, even now as a 22 year old, I have been told that my romantic way of thinking is not a reality. I respect the people who have told me this, and who believe this to be true to their own extent.
However my life is whatever I want it to be, so is yours. It’s all how you perceive it right? I’m not saying one day really soon I’m going to grow fins and jump into the ocean, and explore the oceans depths in search of Atlanta (though, a girl can dream).
But life is magic, in one moment to the next.
When I was 16, my mother came home one day with a gift for me. Perfectly placed in a purple satin bag, I pulled the string and unraveled it, inside I found a long, dainty, gold necklace. The necklace was covered with little golden fairies and golden bells.
I held it in my hands and my mother held my hands in hers and squeezed them tight. She looked at me in the eyes and said, “Believe, believe, believe.”
That moment will never leave me, it has done me so much good since that day. And you know what, I am a warrior princess, I trekked through Mexico, planting seeds and walking through rivers to get to work, carrying coconuts home to make food and medicines. I traveled through the USA hitchhiking through the country, with one pair of shoes, minimum showers, and some damn good luck. I then continued onto finding my way to a completely new continent, exploring hidden lands in Ireland, running out of money in France, and have continued on, creating ways to survive through Holland, and now Germany, and so many more places to name.
My life is a fairytale. Yours can be too.
The past week or so I was in the Netherlands. I caught a bus from Paris to Amsterdam and spent 4 days exploring the flat, eccentric city that our whole world classifies as a number 1 must-see-to-do in Europe.
I found it so beautiful, the Dutch are wonderful, helpful, and astonishingly flawlessly stunning people. I managed to walk around the whole city in a day, frolicking through the side streets, watching the bikes take over the cities roads and the perpetual travelers that enter and exit the city every day. The red light district had me on my toes and the green light district had me giggling. How crazy is it that 5, maybe 6 weeks prior to this I was in the tropics in Mexico, picking fruit and pulling out fresh kale, the heat of the sun bellowing down on my back.
I made my way from Amsterdam to Utrecht, with Renske, the friend I made hitch hiking in Ireland. Renske is from the Netherlands, she just so happened to get back home as I was passing through (thank god for that). We traveled to Utrecht together and from Utrecht we hitched to her small little university town, close to the border of Germany, called Wageningen.
The one night we had in Utrecht, Renske decided to take me ice skating. I was all about this, up until we got to the ice skating rink and I realized that this was actually about to happen… I have never ice skated in my life. I’m more of an outdoorsy beach girl, not a winter wonderland girl… Despite my screeching and yelling, pulling Renske back saying I really didn’t want to do this, she bought us both tickets and rented skates and handed them to me telling me to put them on.
Again, I have done some risky things in my short time on earth, nothing exclusively major, but I think to an extent still pretty risky. Here I was, in a safe little town in the Netherlands, with a good friend here to help me, about to partake in a fun activity, and I was scared shitless.
After 10 minutes of pouting at Renske, I stood up and went to stand on the ice. It was about 9pm, so mostly people my age where on the ice, natives that have been doing this for years.
“First time on the ice?”, One boy asked me.
“Yep, she’s from Australia”, Renske replied for me.
The boy laughed and wished me luck.
And so began my first lesson in ice skating… I could not stop giggling, uncontrollable laughter escaped my lungs, holding onto Renske for dear life, literally not letting her let me go (though she tried time and time again too), I was wobbling all over the place, my body moving unnaturally to this weird type of land beneath me.
I was terrified! Holding onto the ledge and begging Renske for this to be over and to let me go sit down. Renske was having a fabulous time, she was so astonished at how scared I was, but so was I!
“Why are you so scared to fall Nat?” She asked me. I was baffled by her question, in my head I was thinking, “uhh, WHY DO YOU THINK?!” but when I tried to mouth why I was afraid so much of falling, of letting go of her and relying on myself, I could not get my words out.
Why was I so scared?!
“I think I’m scared that if I fall I’ll hit my head…” I replied eventually, through gasps and giggles. But how silly of me, you always land on your bum ice skating, and plus, if you don’t fall you can’t pull yourself back up, you can’t learn from it.
From the outside it looked like I was scared to fall, scared to hurt myself. But I think what was really going on was, I was scared to make a fool of myself in front of all these skaters who knew what they were doing…
Then, three Dutch girls came onto the ice, fairly new to ice skating. “It’s not just you Nat, look, these Dutch girls are just learning too, see!” Renske told me as the three girls held onto each other for dear life, making circles around the rink.
I looked at them, and I looked at me. I had this appreciation for where I was, the company I was in, and what I was doing. Trying new things and setting goals, aspiring for change, for the great unknown. In that moment I was so happy, and even though I had been a little home sick, I had been feeling a little lost, a little scared, I thought back to my mum giving me that necklace, and the words she spoke to me. And I thought to myself, “I got this”.
I let go of the ledge, and still holding onto Renske I let her guide me around the rink, around and around we went and as I started to let go of worrying about falling, or what other people thought of me making a fool of myself, the more fun I started to have.
I didn’t fall… just for the record.
The following day we hitched to Wageningen and I spent 3 nights with Renske, mostly in the apartment, just settling, chilling out and regaining strength, reflecting and taking time for myself. I, once again, was so bedazzled at how accommodating, and beautifully structured humans can be to one another. I had so much fun with Renske, we had an instant ‘best friend’ connection and she let me into her world and literally gave me shelter and a place to regather my thoughts.
Yesterday I made a move to the next. Berlin.
Ah Berlin, I have been dreaming about you for quite some time. An obstacle I have wanted to overcome for SO long. I have always had this fascination with Berlin and now, I am finally here. BETTER YET, I am finally with my dear old friend Natalie.
Natalie deserves her own post, and she will get one. And then you learn about the magic of Nat.
So anyway, I have accomplished some major goals in my life over the past week, one of them, yes, was ice skating, (I don’t care what you say, it was an obstacle for me!) and finally making it to Berlin, a city I have felt a pull towards for quite some time now. That magnetic energy hailing me in.
There is no where else in this crazy world I would rather be right now. My fairy tale life taking me to far away lands, sweeping me off my feet and creating nourishment in all the right places as I go, and you know what, anything REALLY IS possible if you just believe and take some action. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, believe in your fairy tale, and live it. For no one else but for you, I promise you won’t regret it.
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”-J.M Barrie